The first prerequisite for any individual’s environment is safety. Safe air, water and food; and for a child, a safe environment to explore the world. A child's environment should provide stimulus and growth opportunity to his/her physical gross and fine motor abilities, mental aglity, spiritual understanding, emotional security and well being, and psychological stability.
Every day should be a celebration of life. Emotional depth and stability underline this.
Children from a very young age are able to empathize with and identify with their parents and peers. Their ability to express themselves is limited to gestures and a few sounds until their vocabulary expands to accommodate a complex situation.
A key ingredient to a healthy and facilitative environment for any child is a receptive environment where others around them try to understand what the child is trying to express. This cuts down on frustration and allows him/her to get on with the business of learning what they can at that time. Mothers are famous for understanding their child’s first mumbled words, but teachers and those involved in child care also need to make an attempt at understanding that looks beyond spoken language to the physical gestures of the child.
The ability to learn different things in terms of fine and gross movements and mental acrobatics develops in stages. These are well defined maximum age limits for this, but every child is an individual and therefore varies. The home should have safe supervised areas for crawling, walking, jumping, climbing and running.
Frequent interaction with nature is essential to help them develop an understanding of their world and therefore outdoor play should form a part of their everyday schedule.
Toys should include both soft and hard objects of various sizes, shapes and colors, with containers for putting things in and taking out, toys that illustrate physical principles, drawing and coloring materials, musical instruments, books and posters, toys with a mathematical and logical component and options for collaborative and parallel play. These need not be very expensive, but should be brightly colored and interesting to look at. Toys and books that engage the interest of a child will encourage future interest in learning activities and this applies to adults as well. Some disciplined structure is important so that this gets internalized by him/her – this would encourage organized thought process as well as help in later social integration. Over regulation and discipline should be avoided however, as there is no way for another individual to know which mental or psychological leaps another person is due for on which day. Some flexibility should always be available so that a child can choose the way in which he/she wants to approach the subject or task at hand. A young person has decided likes and dislikes which change as he/she grows. Respect for these phases enables him/her to form a strong personality. Asking a child to be different from who he/she is, or to fit into an ideal mould, will always undermine his confidence. case in point: the effect of fashion magazines on young girls.
A frequently underestimated component of mental development is social skills. These develop best with healthy interaction within the family group and in the social strata. A child’s self esteem and the way he learns to value his self is based on the value he sees society placing on his mother. In other words, the child’s ego depends on the mother’s social status, within the home and in various social environments. This does not necessarily correspond with the amount of money a mother or family has. Social status is gauged by the confidence of the mother in various situations, the hierarchy within the family and the respect given to her by people surrounding her.
Conflicts are present in every home. These should be kept to a minimum around the children, and if present, should be controlled to avoid physical or verbal violence. Both of the above can leave indelible marks on a developing ego. Constructive conflict resolution not only teaches by example, but also prevents damage to the child's psyche. Studies in dysfunctional homes have found that the abusive relationship of parents is often copied by their children so that one fits into the abusive role and another into the victim role. This does not remain confined to childhood role-playing, but goes on to manifest itself in their adult lives as dysfunctional relationships that span generations.
Children exposed to violence in the home, whether directed at themselves or others, perform worse than expected in academic environments and are less likely to find successful careers in later life. This relationship links violence in the home to poverty. It is not poverty that causes violence in the home; it is violence in the home that shapes an emotionally, physically and psychologically deprived environment for the future of the family as a whole.
What can we do to alter this equation? Challenge the status quo. A young mother is often the weakest and socially inferior member of the family. This needs to be changed. Women often stay in abusive relationships because of a perception that they are saving the family for the sake of the child. This assumption needs to be challenged. The best environment for a child to grow in is a safe and happy environment where the child and his loved ones are appreciated and valued.
This applies equally to the school and playground. A school and play area should be free of violence, both verbal and physical, references to violence, intimidation and bullying, exploitation and abuse. Similarly, an emphasis on competition with siblings or classmates is not the best strategy to get excellence from a child. A child naturally grows when competing with him/herself for excellence, as when attempting to learn or improve a skill; and leadership skills develop naturally when interacting collaboratively with peers, as when coming together to perform a task.
Perhaps trying to make a better world for our children can be the focus for us to come together as well. |
