All parents want their children to be happy and successful but at some time most parents wonder whether their children are happy and doing what is expected for their age. Most children at times misbehave or are unhappy, but these times usually pass. Sometimes a child’s behavior can be unusual or seem different from other children of the same age. A child may be distressed, or behaving unusually or differently from how s/he has in the past. These changes may be gradual or they may happen quite suddenly. Either way they are a sign that your child needs understanding and help.

CHILDREN'S FEELINGS & BEHAVIOR

Generally speaking it is likely that children and young people are developing well when they enjoy play and leisure activities, being with others in the family and being with friends and other people of their age.

Here are few points for parents to think about:

Everyone feels sad, angry, afraid or upset sometimes, especially when things have gone wrong for them. Not every one will respond to the same event in the same way. Some children cope better than others with stress or things that upset or frighten them. Some children may want to talk a lot about something they have found distressing, others may keep their feelings more to themselves. Most children show feelings in the way they act; their behavior will tell you how they are feeling. It is important to try to understand what the behavior means. If you notice your child being sad or angry much of the time, this is when s/he most needs your help. Some children cope better than others with stress or things that upset or frighten them. The support and understanding they have from people around them is extremely important in helping children cope with problems. Children can have problems with behavior and with feelings at different times in their lives. These problems happen more often than most people might think. Children are most at risk of developing serious mental health problems after the age of twelve to sixteen years, although they can happen earlier. Problems can become worse over time if the child does not get any help.

PROBLEMS TO TAKE NOTICE OF:

Problems with behavior
Behavior problems are usually easily seen. They may include ongoing aggression and bullying, refusal to cooperate or do what they are asked, being cruel to animals when they are old enough to understand not to do this, or eating disorders such as bulimia or anorexia nervosa.

Problems with feelings
Problems with feelings are often not as easy to see as problems with behavior. They include ongoing anxiety (or worry), sadness much of the time or phobias (ongoing fear of a particular thing e.g. spiders, or burglars).

Problems with thinking
These are uncommon, affecting only about one person in a hundred at some time in their life. They usually don’t begin until late adolescence or early adulthood. These problems can occur in illnesses such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

What causes mental health problems?
There can be many things involved such as:

family history (genes)

school or learning problems

problems with friends

emotional, physical abuse or chronic neglect

death or loss of someone very close

serious illness or physical injuries

family break-up, separation and divorce

violence

homelessness

What parents should look out for
Generally a problem shows when children or young people have ongoing distress or when they have difficulties with coping, getting on with others, or keeping an interest in what they are doing.

Signs in toddlers and pre-school children:

not playing

not starting to talk, or to stop talking after s/he has learned to talk

harming themselves

going backwards in their learning, e.g. toilet training

not growing and putting on weight

being over friendly with everyone, treating strangers the same as family

not relating to others, acting as if people were not there

not seeming to be attached to parents

doing the same play or activity over and over again

Signs in primary school age children:

constant crying and clinginess

excessive anxiety about being left alone

ongoing sleep problems

hyperactivity; constant movement beyond regular playing

persistent nightmares

marked fall in school performance

unexplained laughing or crying

soiling or wetting pants

ongoing disobedience or aggression

being so afraid that he/she cannot do usual activities

daydreaming so much that it interferes with usual activities

frequent temper tantrums

cruelty to pets

lighting fires

Signs in older primary school age children and adolescents:

unhappiness, depression and being irritable,

poor appetite, sleeping difficulties and thinking about death

becoming a loner

marked change in school performance

changes in sleeping and/or eating habits

avoiding school, stealing, vandalism

great fear of becoming obese when there are no physical signs of being overweight

exercising much more than seems reasonable

constant worrying

hearing or seeing things that are not there

frequent outbursts of anger

If your child has any of the above signs, or if you are worried about other behaviors or feelings, it is important to get advice from someone who works with children such as your local doctor.

What parents can do:

stay in touch with your child. Be aware of and attend to any changes in your child’s feelings or behavior.

some time each day with your child is important.

take an active interest in what your child enjoys and what s/he is doing at school.

encourage your child to talk about what is happening in his/her life.

model appropriate behavior in your own relationship with others.

spend time with your child in family activities both with fun time as well as chores.

try not to involve your child in adult problems.

don’t compare your child with others.

notice the things that your child is good at and tell him/her.

encourage children’s friendships.

let your child know that you love him/her in as many ways as you can - make sure s/he feels loved and lovable.

Your child’s emotional health is as important as his/her physical health.

Source: www.cyh.com