Infants cannot say how they feel; one can only imply a baby’s emotions from his or her reactions and expressions. A new set of emotions and tendencies mark each new stage in a child’s physical growth. Parents often complain, for instance, that as children grow, they become ‘more difficult’. At 6 weeks, there is an increase in the level of crying, at 9 months children start to cling and moan. At 18 months, they start to throw tantrums and at 6 years, they bicker with their siblings all of which shows how emotions and their expressions evolve. There are no simple formulae to ensure that you get parenting ‘right’, but it can help parents to know the main emotional milestones and issues of concern during their child’s early years.

This article attempts to highlight some of the basic periods of emotional growth that a child goes through in the first few years, and also addresses some core issues that parents face with their children due to these changes. These are the changes you can expect to see in your children as they progress.

Child Age: 0 to 9 Months
EMOTIONAL EVOLUTION: It is right from the start that babies begin to eagerly explore the world around them. They spend a lot of time getting to know their own bodies, for e.g. they observe their own hands and also suck their own fingers. Children also enjoy being cuddled and form a strong emotional attachment with their mothers. All of this indicates strong emotional development right from the start.

Child Age: 9 to 18 Months
EMOTIONAL EVOLUTION: The child has formed a central emotional attachment to the caregivers and is dependent on them. The curiosity and urge to explore increases immensely during this age and the children try to figure out what they can do by themselves. Parents can help their children a great deal in this stage by anticipating their needs, such as the need for more attention, more activities, more room to explore etc.

Child Age: 18 Months to 2 Years
EMOTIONAL EVOLUTION: Children begin to develop a high sense of self-importance, and want to make their own choices and challenge the caregiver’s wishes. Children usually have to be taught the concept of sharing as they are emotionally not ready to share at this stage. The best way to introduce the idea of sharing is that it carries a great moral value (something they may not be able to readily comprehend but still have to be made aware of). It is also at this point in time that children begin to imitate their adults, so it is best to practice the behavior that you want your child to display.

Child Age: 2 to 3 Years
EMOTIONAL EVOLUTION: Children during this stage begin to enjoy being with people and play simple pretend games with other children and themselves. They use language to express wishes and feelings, and show the beginning of a sense of humor. They explore everything, show a stronger sense of self and expand their range of self-help skills. They also begin self-evaluation and develop notions of themselves as good, bad, attractive, etc. and show awareness of their own feelings and those of others, and talk about feelings.

Child Age: 3 to 5 Years
EMOTIONAL EVOLUTION: The child is now more aware of how s/he should act around other children. However preschoolers are very self-centered. To themselves, the world revolves only around them, even though they are starting to talk and see the outside world through their friends and playmates. Children at this age also start to have very active imaginations, which lead to new fears such as fear of the dark or closed spaces etc. It’s best for parents to talk about these fears and accompany their children whenever required rather than scold them for having such insecurities. Children begin to understand how emotions work. They know that facial expressions ‘match’ certain emotions, and that their emotions can be used to manipulate others. This understanding of their own feelings and the experience of other people’s emotions and actions gives children the capacity to feel social emotions such as guilt, concern, responsibility, jealousy, hostility, in addition to feeling miserable, resentful and horrified.

Child Age: 7 to 5 Years
EMOTIONAL EVOLUTION: At this age, children are more aware of themselves as individuals. They show fair understanding of moral reasoning (exploring ideas about fairness and good or bad behavior). They can also empathize with others' feelings. Children usually begin to attend school during these years which is why it is important that parents realize there may be some separation anxiety and some nervousness in joining a totally new environment with strangers. Parents, realizing this, should look for ways to comfort the child when s/he is at home and make an effort to stay involved in all school work and activities. This is one of the best times that parents can begin to read to their children and assist them in understanding the value of morals, compassion and being helpful.