In pregnancy, since the mother is left holding the proverbial ball she has to be all geared up and be ready for what is to come. When she gets pregnant, instinctively, the first thing the mother-to-be does is rush out and get access to all available information she can find. This involves getting hold of any available books, information flyers, doctors or elders in the family. The more she seeks the more she gets. The expecting mother is inundated at time with advice from the obvious ‘relax and just don’t take any stress!’ to the questionable such as ‘listening to classical music during pregnancy will turn her unborn baby into a genius rivaling Einstein’.

She will also have her experienced fellow mother hens who take her hand gently and guide her on that shiny, glorious path to a well informed pregnancy. They will give her the low down and the nitty-gritty on everything baby related from what to eat to how a soothing a light caramel color for the baby’s room will be.

But have you given thought to that person sitting in the corner, trying to look awfully brave while gulping down food? That is the man. The husband. The father to be. And though he might be trying to look tough and in control while munching away, he has not a clue on what is going on and more importantly what is to come. And make no mistake, he is intimidated. This is as new to him as it is to the mother. He may not have the starring role, but he is going to play as essential supporting cast. A fancier way of saying that though he does not have to face the herculean task that a woman has to go through; nevertheless he needs to be prepared to back up his partner in the crucial months to come.

Not that he’s going to make things any easier for himself.

Fact: Men do not have the guidance of their fellow experienced peers to guide them through the nuances of this journey

Men on the whole do not have deep meaningful conversations between themselves. A typical conversation between friends goes something like this.

Man: Hey! We’re going to have a baby!
Best Friend: Wow! That’s great buddy! Congrats!
Man: Thanks!
Best Friend: So did you see that knock Shahid Afridi played?
Man: Yea! It was brilliant!

As is shown, men’s conversation usually revolves on the casual which range from cricket to politics to light entertainment. So as far as what to expect during pregnancy is concerned and how to cope with it, it’s every man for himself.

Fact: Men do not instinctively go scouring for information
It just isn’t in their genetic code. They have a tendency of taking things as they come when it comes to situations like these, better known as ‘winging it’ While women will be obsessive with anything baby, the man will be lounging around in the house or hanging out with friends, evading discussions on what is to come.

Not a lot of literature deals with their part in a pregnancy, and even if it does, men would not be the ones actively looking for it. No better example of this can be than the fact that there is a 99 percent chance these words are probably being read right now by a woman rather than a man. So if you are a couple thinking of having a baby or expecting one for the first time, this is the point where you pull your spouse from that bubble and hand this magazineover to him. Time he gets a little know how as well on the challenges of pregnancy.

Hello there dad!
How you doing?
Afridi really bungled up batting in the last match didn’t he?

By the way, Congratulations on being a dad! And since you’re already here and reading this, let me tell you something you should know:

Life as you know it has ended

Kidding! I’m sorry, I just could not resist. What I actually meant to say was even though it might seem intimidating right now, you will survive! There might be some tough times ahead but I assure you they will be worth it. Here are a few simple tips to help you through the next few months of your life. My guide to pregnancy survival.

Beware the nesting

For the pregnancy terminology challenged, "nesting" is the powerful maternal instinct to prepare the home (nest) for the baby. Many experts will tell you that the "nesting" phase doesn't kick in until the fifth month, getting stronger through the third trimester.

Many experts are wrong.

Expect intense cleaning, re-cleaning, organizing, reorganizing, decorating, redecorating, and at the most random of times. Expect something resembling the following:

Situation 1
Husband: "I thought we were going to the bazaar."
Wife: "We are, right after I finish organizing dinner, scrubbing the kitchen and cleaning the lounge and painting the room. Twice."

Situation 2
Wife: "Did you wash your hands before you started cooking?"
Husband: "Yes."
Wife: "With soap?"
Husband: "Yes."
Wife: "Which soap?"
Husband: "The soap that is on the sink."
Wife: "Which soap that is on the sink, the one that smells good, or the one with bleach?"
Husband: "The one that smells good."
Wife: "Don't you know I'm pregnant?! Your baby is inside me. Do you want the baby to get germs from me eating the food you touch with your dirty hands! Wash your hands with the soap that has bleach!"

Nesting, in some form or fashion, seems to happen immediately upon the first signs of pregnancy occur. Just deal with it. Don't get mad, don't get frustrated, just deal with it.

Swing Swing

Everyone you know may have informed you that there will be mood swings during the pregnancy. Everyone who told you so completely understated the truth.

You will likely witness tears of joy, tears of sadness, terms of endearment, terms of endangerment, strokes of love and strokes that will leave bruises all in the span of about a minutes. It's not her fault, and, most importantly, it's not your fault. Usually. The whole hormone thing tampers with the moods of a woman. If you call something like putting your finger in an electric socket tampering!

Again, there's nothing you can do about it, brace yourself, learn to carry tissue or a handkerchief, put on your bulletproof vest, have a compliment at the ready, and enjoy the ride.

The cravings

Picture one of those vampire movies where the said vampire simply cannot resist his craving, even at the cost of damnation of his soul. Now you have a fairly good idea of how intense women’s food cravings get during pregnancy. It may be for anything and at anytime. And you better not come between the woman and her food of choice if you know what’s good for you!

Wife: I feel like having Nimco
Husband: We’re all out of Nimco sweety
Wife: Well you can go out and get me some then?
Husband: …its 4 o clock in the morning
Wife: Your point being?
Husband: Nothing. Just thinking it’s a wonderful time for a drive. I’ll be right back with that Nimco you want.

And to be fair, those 4 o clock drives aren’t really that bad. At least you don’t get traffic. 

Symptom mania

That's right, more symptoms. Many, many more symptoms above and beyond what you've learned so far. Let's see, where to begin? Of course there's the nausea, morning sickness, fatigue, aches and pains, irritability, frequent toilet trips, a generic, unspecified and omnipresent discomfort, and gastronomical affectations that will literally blow you away.

And that's just in the first trimester.
I'm serious.

Oh, and you could develop what are called "sympathy pains". This is the politically correct term for symptom overlap. Yes, sometimes the symptoms overlap onto you. Or, better still, symptom overload, she is so overloaded with symptoms that you help by experiencing some of the symptoms for her.

Fathers-to-be are known to endure cramps, back pain, mood swings, food cravings, morning sickness, extreme tiredness, depression, irritability, fainting and toothaches according to researchers. Fun times.

Get learned in all things pregnancy

Reading these words of wisdom is a good start. But it is only a start. The truth is there is no such thing as learning enough, especially about pregnancy and raising children. Read everything you can get your hands on, talk to anyone who will listen and share, and go to the doctor with her! I'm not saying you have to do a PhD on it, but you have to learn what to expect

Nothing will melt your heart like an ultrasound. And even though, objectively speaking, the child may look more like an alien from planet mars than an earthling, all you will see is your very own flesh and blood, fruit of your loins, seed of thy flesh, you get the idea.

Ask the doctor questions, ask your dad questions, ask the neighbor with the 7 kids questions. Yea, the neighbor with the 7 kids would be a better choice than even the doctor come to think of it.

Labor day

Finally after all the trials and tribulations comes that day of days. The day of arrival. Labor Day.

This is your time to stand up and be counted. To be at your woman’s side and assure her that you are right there with her. Labor at times can cause some women to feel like they are losing control and may make them panic. A husband can say and do a number of supportive things while his wife is experiencing labor:

• Say ‘You are doing fine - the baby is fine’
• Hold her hand to show her support
• Say ‘Don’t worry, I’m here with you’
• Say ‘Everything will be alright’

There are things that are frowned upon as well and the husband should do well to refrain:

• Scream louder than she is. Even when her nails dig into your bone while holding your hand
• Say ‘Ewwwww.’ Yeah seriously, don’t say that at all!
• Faint

A journey worth making

It may be difficult to believe after that crash course, but the good far outweighs the bad. No amount of grumpiness, grouchiness or gassiness can ever compare to the giddiness. Which is great because you both will be giddy far more than anything else, and rightfully so.

A child is one of life's greatest blessings, and so is the pregnancy. It's an experience meant to be shared. The sometimes bumpy journey of a pregnancy is merely an opportunity to bring the travelers (baby included) closer together. You’ve just been handed a brief guide on what to expect on this trip. It’s time for you to navigate yourself to the destination of being the World’s Greatest Dad.

About the Writer:
Raza Azmat holds an MBA degree in Marketing from the Institute of Business Administration (IoBM). He has had 3 years of experience working in advertising.